What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 27.06.2025 00:50
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
How short is too short for a skirt?
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
TEXT:
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
What are the latest developments in the tech industry?
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
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Make Nazis afraid again!
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
What is your favourite summer outfit? Why?
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
How do I promote my book to get it reviewed and grow an audience if I already published it?
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.